It is early morning, I am in Goa, still dark as the sun is yet to rise, I can hear the waves, the birds chirping, the sun is yet to rise,

I had planned this trip with Arnav and and a couple of friends joined in too. However this one was supposed to be special.

As Arnav grew, we would take him for a holiday every 3 to 4 months, and my holiday revolved around him, whether it was the pool, a museum, a joy ride, a park, a games room, sleeping time..movie, it was all about Arnav. I loved being a kid all over again and being his partner in crime.

However this time, at the last moment Arnav decided to stay back, he sure is growing up. There was this deep unsettling feeling, what am I going to do without Arnav, who will share the goodies in the hotel room, who till play ludo……the mind never stops thinking, next year he goes to college, often times he won’t join us; As he turns 18 in 2023, it is end of a phase and beginning of a new one….

The Holiday was still great, I spent most of the time in water- sea, pool, walked a lot, ate a lot of good food, watched a couple of movies, a chance connect with a wise soul and some comforting conversations and laughs with friends.

Yes there is this sense of emptiness, ‘being’ means ‘being with Arnav’ sure I will always be with him, however it is also time to ‘being with myself’ ‘for myself’

Note to self: I missed swimming, water makes me feel good, should include in my routine back home.

Note to self: Get out more often 🙂 Laugh more! Party more 🙂